I became a US citizen today. It was something I originally
thought would be easy to do (about 20 years ago). But, when I actually moved
here permanently, it became, in my mind, an impossibility. It is hard to
describe the reasons why you would want to hold onto a citizenship that you
grew up with despite not living in that country any longer, hard to put into
words what being English means to those who are. There are so many things to be
proud of and numerous strong memories of quintessential British places,
traditions, and culture. My children love England. They all hold British
passports and they seem to be very proud of their mother and their joint
heritage. With that said, every time I travelled with them, I was scared we
would be separated by Immigration when we landed back on American soil. I am
(was) a documented immigrant. I hold (held) a Green Card. But I have witnessed
first hand that when the USCIS decide to step in, nothing you can say or do
will change their mind or attitude towards you. I understand why they have to
be like that. But it is terrifying being on the receiving end.
Another major downside of being a permanent resident is that
you cannot vote. I lived with this for
18 years. I actually only voted in a major election one time in my life; when
“New” Labour were voted into Government in November of 1996. While watching the
election with my father-in-law stateside I saw an old Government professor on
the BBC being interviewed during the election. (Admittedly, afore mentioned
Prof was a complete ass and I dropped his class for fear of being trampled by
this completely snobby, Tory, sexist man who liked to name drop which Prime
Minister he had socialized with at No. 10. Ahem, Edward Heath…) I had voted in
that election via absentee ballot. It was the last time I voted and I cried
when Labour won; because they actually had got elected after so many years and
because I wasn’t there.
So, fast forward 18 years or so, and I decide to become a
citizen. Even after that decision, it wasn’t easy to complete. I had to promise
over and over again, on paper, in person, with my right hand raised in an oath,
that I would bear arms to defend this country. Please understand that I hate
weapons in any form. I despise guns and hope to God I never touch one in my
entire life. I hope I never have to. There are men and women far more
courageous than I who do so every day to defend us and to them I am eternally
grateful. Additionally applying for citizenship is an incredibly expensive
process (yes, I have a great deal of sympathy for undocumented citizens for
this and other reasons). Oh and did I
mention the test? Which, after studying with the intensity of a former
government and philosophy student, turned out to be so simple that I almost
asked my interviewer to keep the questions coming!
A few days before my interview/test I became quite depressed
about the idea that I would no longer be British. The thing that really cut me
up is that once you renounce your British citizenship, you can’t live there.
You know, you can’t just live there indefinitely. The sadness was ridiculous really
because clearly I won’t be moving there anytime soon! It was just the idea of
not having that freedom to move.
But without sounding like a complete nut job, I realized I
would fight for this country. This is where my children, my husband and my
American family live. And I still believe, like the government undergrad I once
was, that the Constitution is a truly remarkable document. I believe that the
system of government here is a far more logical and well thought out one than
the one I came from. Don’t get me wrong, I love the history and pomp and
circumstance of the British government and monarchy. But the way the founding fathers devised a
system of government impresses me every time I read about it. Sure, there are
problems with how it all works sometimes. Nothing is perfect after all. But I
believe in a system that is based on the rights of all men/women to their life,
liberty and pursuit of happiness. I am a sucker for quotes such as, “all men
are created equal” and that the government is answerable to the governed. That
unspoken contract that John Locke wrote of is far more prominent here than I
ever felt it was in the author’s homeland.
So, here I am, a newly minted citizen with a voter
registration in the works and it feels good. I feel relief because I can work
in a public school now (if I chose), I can vote (thank God), I won’t have to
renew my Green Card every 10 years (another costly venture especially when they
lose it in the mail. Twice.), and I won’t be taking deep breaths every time I
travel with my children. (Well, at least not for the Immigration reasons…but travelling
with children?!)
My children got to witness my oath taking ceremony with 92
other candidates for citizenship. They got to see how many people leave way
worse situations than I left to pursue a better life. And my husband, his
parents and aunt, and two of my absolute closest friends were there to support
this conclusion in a long, 18 year journey.
