My second home

I was sitting in my in-laws kitchen working on my Master's thesis proposal. In a rare few hours of silence (Kyler was napping upstairs, JP was 'babysitting his Aunt's children while she got some things done in her house, and Charlie was at the Harry Potter movie for the second time with my mother-in-law), I had been typing away. Just quietly typing. Well, I say typing away, but what I really mean is, typing…making coffee…typing… trying to pursued the dog to go out and pee…typing… making a snack… typing, picking the aforementioned dog up and carting him outside in the infernal heat to pee… typing….well, you get the picture.

I took a little break. Walked to the fridge and filled my water up. Then, I was struck how this house feels to me. Obviously it is not my parents house, but nevertheless I have a very strong tie to it. I lived here for nine months when I first moved here. And I visited and stayed here for a few trips, back when Kyle and I were shouldering our very long-distance relationship.

My first trip was the August of 1994, when Kyle's oldest brother got married. I walked into the usual pandemonium of the run-up to a big family wedding. (And Kyle's family is big….) I fell asleep on the trundle bed in my now sister-in-law's bedroom, exhausted from travelling overseas for the first time in my life. (Yes, I had not flown off the British isles until I was 20 years old. Let me tell you, take-off was a complete traumatic shock for me.) I drifted off to the sounds of giggles and laughter from the Rettberg cousins in the next room and I woke up to the family dog's (Lucky), wet nose in my face. Over the following two and a half years, I gradually got to know this family and this house. And they go to know me. I realized that I could, upon occasion, make them laugh. I realized that Eric and Megan was like the little brother and sister I had never had. In November of 1996, I moved here permanently. My in-laws were great, especially considering they were in the throes of a local, political campaign and it was an ugly campaign. But they welcomed me in and gave me a bedroom, with a bigger bed than I had ever slept in. There was space for my beloved trinkets and photo frames from the country and family I had just left behind. I immersed myself into the life of a suburban family. I cooked and I tried to clean (but baffled Kyle's mom when I asked her where the "hoover" was instead of the vacuum cleaner. My sister-in-law and I grocery shopped together and I experienced for the first time, a country where a kid can sign on their parent's credit card. Needless to say, we bought a lot of Brownie Bites and Alfredo Pasta-Roni. We loved that stuff. I got a reputation for leaving lights on in closets (which drove my father-in- law nuts) and breaking glasses (which my father-in-law was very patient about). I still break glasses and I still have not lived those times down.

If I tell people that I lived with my in-laws for before I got married, I usually get a very shocked reaction. Shock turns to disbelief. Disbelief is signified by the shaking of heads while telling me I must be some kind of saint. No, I say, I am no saint. I was just a girl who needed a family when she moved country to marry the man she loved. I found a family four thousand miles away from my English family. Without them, I probably would have wanted to go home.

So now, when I walk around, I may not see my baby or toddler pictures (actually they're not hung in my parents' home either!), but I have memories here. I have memories here despite not having have elementary school memories or prom pictures on the wall. But my babies' pictures are all over the walls. And our goofy looking engagement photo was up for a really long time (I say funny because it was when we thought it was a good idea to have me cut Kyle's hair…). Our wedding photo adorns the hallway wall with the rest of the family's. (That one we do look better in.) And regardless of childhood time, I spent a good part of my young adult time in this house.

I went back to my computer and finished my work. Kyler woke up, Charlie came home, JP rolled in with Meg and life carried on.