On imperfections

Recently I have tried very hard to finish a parenting book that a couple of people had recommend. While I liked many of the concepts in the book, the main premise is that when disciplining children, a parent should try to minimize emotion and talking. (Really, really hard for me. Really hard.)
I guess as adults we expect children to understand rationally why they can't or shouldn't do something. The book declares that this just isn't the case, and while as adults we have this expectation, our children just don't get it. So trying to talk and explain the whys and wherefores of everything is just like beating ourselves in the head with a cricket bat. The emotion should be taken out just because, bottom line, emotion escalates everything (I would agree with this....!)
The book was actually very helpful, although I think I have to make notes on the ideas in it, just to keep it all straight in my head, before I unleash some new type of discipline on my poor children!
However, last week, I had a rough week with one of my boys and I found that the golden rule of discipline was broken many times in my house. (I talked too much and I was way too emotional.) Consequently, I spent many days (and nights) beating myself up. First, because I broke the bloody golden rule of parenting, and second, because I felt like I failed my child. When any of them are giving me a hard time, I want to be this firm, but fair, disciplined, but kind mother. I want them to feel that when they feel like all is lost (even if it is over whether they get to go and pick out another lego at target), that I am their safe place. If I'm not that place....who the hell, or what the hell is? (This maybe a major presumption on my part, but that's how I felt/feel about my Mum, and I want that for them.)
Fortunately, my very wise sister-in-law wrote in an email to me that she thought that being a perfect mother was showing imperfection. Genius. This is why the aforementioned discipline approach is all very well, I mean, it's a great goal when you really want to shut down that truly annoying, nit-picking kind of behaviour that just drives you nuts on a daily basis, but if I think about big picture stuff, and how I am trying to prepare my children for adulthood, maybe showing imperfection, and yelling (occasionally?!) and being emotional allows them to see that the world is an imperfect place. That people are emotional, and irrational, and make mistakes. I don't mean to cop out of disciplining my kids. That would be a huge mistake, and make my house an unbearable place to live. (And it would make my kids unbearable brats to be around!) I suppose I was just really grateful to think of the silver limning to my little black, rain cloud.
I set the bar for motherhood high in my head, and while I still want to be their safe palce, I have to recognize that I am not perfect. (God, am I ever not perfect....) But I love my kids beyond belief, and I hope that on our bad days, they still know that. I tell them, but there's always one that throws back - "no you don't!"